I have to weigh in on this, because I JUST CANNOT with the passing-of-the-buck, all-talk-no-action nonsense that’s been flying around lately on bullying and the now iconic “pink shirt”.

Let’s go back to the beginning.

Nova Scotia – September, 2007. A Grade 9 boy wears a pink polo shirt on his first day of school, which results in a round of homophobic bullying from his peers. In response, two Grade 12 boys generate a ‘sea of pink’ – purchasing solidarity-evoking pink t-shirts for schoolmates and organizing an effective response to an actual instance of bullying.

Inevitably (and oddly, across the country, in British Columbia) the pink shirt was picked up as a symbol of anti-bullying awareness, with then Premier Gordon Campbell declaring February 27, 2008 ‘Pink Shirt Day’. This tradition has continued ever since – mainly in BC, but also intermittently across the country thanks to celebrity involvement, media and political sponsorship etc.

Then, in November 2012, during Canada’s annual Bullying Awareness Week (which is actually in its 11th year and not to be confused with Pink Shirt Day in February, or the Day of Pink Week in April – you following?), the Canadian Red Cross and SaskEnergy announced Saskatchewan’s Day of Pink initiative, to be held on April 10, 2013.

Somebody also called Manitoba, who announced they’d be doing the same thing, but sponsored by RBC.

You’ll note that at some point, even the Red Cross was confused.

So fast-forward to yesterday, and the declarations began in earnest.

The children walked.

The RCMP marched.

A small Saskatchewan town even made it perfectly acceptable to call the police if someone hurts your feelings.

In the provincial Legislature, the Saskatchewan NDP used the Day of Pink in an attempt to score political points. MLA Jennifer Campeau, who was appointed by the Premier as Legislative Secretary to work on the Sask Government’s bullying file, rose and said she “look(s) forward to travelling the province and engaging communities in public consultations to discuss anti-bullying initiatives”. Jennifer is fabulous and she’ll do a great job, but I hope she brings tangible results along with all that engagement.

No sooner had Campeau sat down when NDP leader Cam Broten rose with an apology to the Speaker, because his office had been busted the day before  (pg 3107) for having a NDP staffer run a website called “Shit Sask Party MLAs Say” out of the NDP caucus office .

(My friend Murray Mandryk reminds me that Politicians Behaving Badly is a bi-partisan phenomenon, but the timing on this one is amusing.)

Broten then recovers from his apology for, um, cyber-bullying, by using the Day of Pink to question the Premier in respect to “gay-straight alliances”. Now, I’m going to give Broten credit for arguably going back to the original intention of the Day of Pink – battling homophobia (can’t say as to whether he actually did it on purpose, but let’s give him the credit anyway).

Yet, using Day of Pink to quiz Brad Wall on “the Sask Party’s position on gay-straight alliances” is so political that it pretty much proves the uselessness of the entire initiative.

Broten then goes on to press Wall over whether the government will take the steps to establish these clubs in schools.

Because nothing says “let’s be friends” like the government forcing you to.

What is a gay-straight alliance, you ask? According to mygsa.org, “A GSA is a student-run group that provides a safe place for any and all students to meet and learn about all different orientations, to support each other while working together to end homophobia, and to raise awareness and promote equality for all human beings. In addition to being a group dedicated to support, it also strives to educate the surrounding areas and the community on different gender and equality issues.”

Cool.

Good news: mygsa.org also provides a helpful map of GSA’s already up and running in Saskatchewan – without government interference – including high schools in North Battleford, Saskatoon and Regina, as well as a club in Swift Current.

Meanwhile, let’s head back to Nova Scotia, where the parents of the tragic Rehtaeh Parsons might be wondering where the pink shirts were while their daughter was being tortured. It’s been dubbed Canada’s Stuebenville, and by all accounts it would appear that poor Rehtaeh was mentally and emotionally tormented – after allegedly being raped – to the point she took her own life. She went down the usual roads to escape the bullying – changed schools, received medical therapy, lashed out. There were signs her suicide was coming, and it did.

The resulting media frenzy has amplified the anti-bullying calls -

More education!

More awareness!

It’s a carbon copy of the aftermath of BC teen Amanda Todd’s suicide six months prior. Todd’s mom, by the way, in reaction to hearing about Parsons’ suicide, said that she feels “kids are not getting the message about how emotionally damaging bullying can be.”

“I think kids forget way too easy… ” she said. “The discussions need to continue in the family situation and the school situation.”

Not the government situation?

Recently I obnoxiously gently teased philanthropic guru (and anti-bullying advocate) W. Brett Wilson for sharing his support on Twitter for BC Liberal MP Hedy Fry’s Cyberbullying bill.

“There’s not a damn thing the government can do to stop bullying,” I sniped.

“You’re right,” replied Wilson. “It’s never going to work, so let’s just not try.” I probably don’t need to add that he was being completely sarcastic. And he was dead right – cynical bitches like me are too quick to stomp on good intentions. So I’m trying harder not to do that.

But in the case of the governments of Saskatchewan & Manitoba, and their Day of Pink, one of my own key approaches to philanthropy comes into play – don’t reinvent the wheel. If a charity or organization is already accomplishing what you want to do (in this case, PinkShirtDay.org), consider throwing your efforts behind them instead of competing for limited resources, and the general public’s limited attention span.

Which leads me to wonder if these governments reinvented the wheel on purpose – the original Pink Shirt Day movement was specifically about addressing a LGBT issue, remember?

It’s just a theory, and I hope I’m wrong.

Meanwhile though, with every dilution of the original event, more and more people are able to pat themselves on the back of their pink shirts and congratulate themselves for doing nothing else.

Full disclosure – anyone who reads me knows I was bullied pretty badly as a kid. I was a chubby, super-smart Jehovah’s Witness kid and my mom kept my hair short. Hello – it was hell. I faced tormentors both at school and in the congregation. There was no safe haven, other than in a Doritos bag and my bedroom. So I’ve got some strong feelings on this.

There were exactly two groups of people who made an impact on my experience: my teachers and my parents. Caring teachers (shout out to Mr Toles) gave me options, support and empathy. So did my parents, though their emotional involvement made it difficult for them, as it is for the parents of all bullied children.

Yet another bullying-related suicide reminds me of Wilson’s point – we must continue to try.

Another bullying-related suicide also reminds me of Yoda’s point – “Do or do not. There is no try.”

The bottom line – unless every child’s hand is held 24/7 (not a healthy option anyway), we will never fully wipe out bullying.

But once the pink shirt is back in the drawer, we have to continue to try, and do, things that make a difference – starting at home, weaving through the classroom, and ending up back at home. End of story.

Save my tax dollars for the roads, because as Brad Wall himself once said, “You can’t legislate common sense.”